1. Meeting called to order by Gaia, the spirit of the earth. Date is September 20, 1990. Location is the CNN Headquarters in Atlanta.
2. Present are Gaia, Captain Planet, Kwame, Gi, Wheeler and Ma-Ti.
3. Absent is Linka. Captain Planet makes joke about her being too busy shaving her back, cracks up the room.
4. Corrections for the minutes of September 13, 1990. Gaia wishes it to be noted that she was “actually there in spirit”. Captain Planet makes snide comment about Gaia “sleeping off a hangover in spirit”. Sudden hailstorm assaults the building, shattering window. Gaia added to last week’s attendance.
5. Meeting is opened up to motions. Wheeler motions that Gaia use Spirit Vision to provide surveillance of Jane’s Addiction concert. Motion narrowly voted down 3-2. Captain Planet abstains.
6. Gi motions that the Planetsphere’s internal phone extensions be changed, due to several disturbing voicemails left by Hoggish Greedly. Motion passes 5-0. Captain Planet abstains.
7. Gaia asks if Captain Planet is feeling alright. He does not respond. Kwame is asked to poke him. Captain Planet is poked. Captain Planet awakens and denies that he was sleeping. Planet: “I was just thinking really hard”
8. Captain Planet motions that some music be played, “just to get things hummin’”. Motion is voted down 5-1.
9. Gaia calls for the presentation of the magic rings and apologizes for the delay in their “eternal concoction”.
Kwame is awarded the earth ring. Kwame: “Now that’s what I’m talking about” Wheeler is awarded the fire ring. In her absence, Linka will be awarded the wind ring at the next meeting. Gi is awarded the water ring. Ma-Ti is awarded the heart ring. Ma-Ti has the floor. “Wait, what?”
10. Gaia motions that the catering for future meetings be switched back to the old company that used to do it. Ma-Ti asks that the last item be revisited.
11. Ma-Ti calls attention to the fact that his ring sucks. Gaia notes that heart is “perhaps the most powerful element of all”. Ma-Ti: “No, but what am I supposed to do with it.”
Gaia explains that he can kind of do spiritual stuff. Ma-Ti: “Is this because I’m from South America? The white guy’s got a flamethrower and I can, what, make people feel sorry for my shitty ring?” Planet: “Don’t make this a racial thing”
12. Ma-Ti proposes that he deliver the wind ring to Linka, as he’s probably going to see her this weekend. Planet: “Ha ha, no”
13. Ma-Ti motions that all the rings be put in a hat, which is the only fair way to do it. Motion is voted down 5-1.
14. Ma-Ti motions that his element be changed to ice. Planet: “See, that already falls under water”
Gaia: “Is this going to turn into a really big deal?” Planet proposes that maybe they can get him a monkey or something. Ma-Ti agrees that this should be looked into.
15. As the meeting is running long, catering motion is to be held over to next week.
16. Next meeting is set for one week’s time, September 27, 1990. Captain Planet proposes that it be held at Andales “which is actually this great Mexican place”. Motion passes 6-0.
17. Meeting is adjourned.
