• On the Games’ first night, the puzzling choice for Canadian flag-bearer, Jason Priestley, is met with a mixed reaction.
• For the Opening Ceremonies, Colin Mochrie and that other guy hit the stage for their special brand of high-energy improv, bringing the crowd of sixty thousand to a fever pitch.
• Immediately following the Opening Ceremonies, the Depressing Ceremonies are held, highlighted by a performance from Canadian-born Leonard Cohen.
• After a luger dies on the dangerous track, twenty-five Skeleton competitors decide not to compete. They are replaced with medical skeletons dressed in funny clothes.
• When a barrier collapses during their performance, a concert by Alexisonfire is cancelled. Tourists mount an emergency campaign to weaken the barrier for the upcoming Barenaked Ladies set.
• Further frustrating viewers annoyed with their tape-delayed coverage, NBC decides to delay their broadcast of the women’s 500-metre speed-skating final by two more hours to air a “Jaywalking in Israel” prime-time special.
• After emergency cost overruns, the Olympic Games officially become the city of Vancouver’s most expensive sports undertaking since the operation to separate the Sedin twins.
• In a last-minute decision, cash-strapped organizers scrap the Alpine Skiing competition in favor of the far-cheaper Bum Fights event.
• The organizers of the 2014 Olympics in Sochi, Russia announce new “Chinese Downhill” event for next Games. The early favourite to win gold in this event: China.
• After road conditions become prohibitively icy, shuttle transportation between venues is provided by Canada’s Paralympic sledge hockey team.
• In a nod to the loonie being frozen at center ice in the 2002 games to bring the Canadian hockey teams good luck, British Columbia residents stash a dimebag in the penalty box.
Not sure why you say Jason Priestley was a puzzling choice. I am from South Africa and even I know that Jason is a wonderful ambassador for Canada. Shona
Typically, the flag-bearer is an Olympic athlete. But I’m on your side! I think it’s fine to make an exception for someone who guest-stars on a lot of TV shows.
Not only that, but he starred in the original “Beverly Hills 90210,” which was originally intended to be a US knock-off of the Canadian “Degrassi” series. A Canadian starring in an American knock-off of a longer-running hit Canadian series?!
Ummm Jason directs too, ok.
Also check this out!
http://www.thecomedynetwork.ca/Displayblog.aspx?bpid=bc67d97c-f70d-48be-a4a2-bb8d0f557e13
comedy network bliggablog.
Atta intern! Now you’re even abusing other internships to benefit this internship. I could cry.