- We will not use your information to buy things with your credit card. We will definitely not use your information to buy this vintage, rare Boba Fett action figure on eBay. Bggggahh this thing is so cool! And the case doesn’t have any bubble dings – zero bubble dings!
- We will not use your information to ridicule your Superbowl pick. Seriously, you thought the team that lost would win? Ha ha!
- We will not sell your information. And really, even if we wanted to, who would we sell it to? Do pawn shops buy information? How does that work? And what’s the going rate on information? See – it’s just a big headache.
- We will not use your browser history to make wild assumptions about you. You visited the Dora the Explorer website and, eight days and thirteen hours later, MuyCalienteLatinas.com? We’re not saying shit, but the cops are on their way.
- From time to time, we may use your information to gain access to your computer and change your desktop wallpaper to this, a collage of Fun Time Internet’s Bo Swidersky sleeping fully clothed. Why would we even bother doing this? Jokes, man, jokes.
- We will not give your email address to penis pill spammers. Also, we do not moonlight as penis pill spammers to make a little scratch on the side. But while I’ve got your ear, are you by chance interested in something called a LOVE LOVE BLUE PILL? Cheap Medz Here No Perscription Needed! http://www.schlongdoctor.net.cn
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