Welcome back to class kiddies. Well the Fun Times turd burgulars put the screws to me and said I can only do one of these a week. BUT, I got em to agree that one of em had to treat me to Bun Bun’s Chinese Buffet to make the deal official. I put away so much sweet and sour pork that Bo Swedersky thought I was goin into hibernation!
This time I got somethin special planned for ya. Very few souls outside of yours truly have seen the inside of my email inbox. Some say its HAUNTED by the ghosts of people I snookered with one sided offers! Well gang wonder no longer, I’m openin up the curtain and showin you some very select email communicays between the Babester and some poor saps who ever saw me comin.
The “bait and switch”. It gets talked about like a fart in a hot car. But as a entrepranaur its one of the most valuable tools in your toolbox. If your desperate to unload a piece of merchandice ya have to do whatever you can to start the conversation. That’s why I like to go on craigslist and make ads for things I dont have.
I posted this up last week and got about 50 emails from freeloaders who are chomping at the mouth to pick up my stuff. Of course I aint got any stereos or TVs to give away, so I just say theyre already gone but hey, would you like to buy something else. ITS GENIUS
But its not all peaches and gravy because there are four specifec types of characters that are gonna give you trouble when your pulling the bait and switch.
TYPE #1 : EL CHEAPO
If it aint free they aint interested. You could be sellin the Mona Lisa for a half eaten whistle dog and a song and these stingy bastards would still pass.
That was the last I heard from Johnny Toronto. Your loss numb nuts, “Code Name: Killer Assassin” goes back into the vault
TYPE #2 : THE HYPERCONDRIACS
Not everything I sell is in mint condition, and these dingleberrys turn up their snooty noses at anything that aint “Just So”.
TYPE #3 : MR ANGRY
Not everyone on C-list is an udder delight to deal with like me. Its not enough that they aint interested in what your selling, they have to threaten you while they do it.
Hey pal, if you dont get that chip off your shoulder I’ll punch it off. I was gonna say that to him but I got busy
TYPE #4 : THE CLOWN SQUAD
Nothin scalds my crank like idiots who take a useful website like craigslist and use it to waste peoples time. This mental midget used my ad as a chance to try out his stand up comedy act.
Thats hilarious Bill Engvall, I hope you try that routine on a Type 3 and he knocks your face down your throat!
If your wonderin, I didnt end up sellin any of that stuff, but this techneke sometimes take a few tries. Bout an hour ago I put up a freebie ad for 100 pounds of non perishable canned food so some real hungry fools email me up and I can try to move my broken deep fryer. FINGERS CROSSED
Cheers and remember, if your not rich your not tryin!