Babies with Rabies
A new prenatal drug created by Parasol Pharmaceuticals is causing horrific birth defects. Women across the globe are giving birth to unstoppable flesh-eating monsters. The baby outbreak is spreading and only Abe Orson, Professional Baby Hunter (Luke Perry) can stop it. Co-starring Katie Holmes, Meat Loaf, and a who’s who of who cares. Written and directed by Uwe Boll.
Struggling Middle Eastern song parodist “Weird” Ali Yankomah-Weewee (Mike Myers) is banished from his village for being untalented. While scavenging the desert for yak meat, he discovers a magic lamp — and the Teeny Genie inside it (Verne Troyer). What this genie lacks in size, he more than makes up for with attitude! And in the tradition of Leprechaun and Kazaam, he speaks only in rhyme.
Weird Ali uses Teeny Genie’s magic to become the top novelty musician in all the Persian Gulf. He also uses it to win the heart of the shapeliest harlot in all the land (Kim Kardashian, as herself). But instant success has its price. “Weird” Ali quickly uses up his three genie wishes and his newfound arrogance isolates him from his loved ones. Meanwhile, rival song parodist Khamal Fookah (Andy Dick) conspires to possess Teeny Genie for himself.
Co-starring Nicolas Cage as the Sun, who serves as the film’s narrator. And he speaks only in gangsta rap. With a Jamaican accent.
Inside THE ROOM
From acclaimed director Werner Herzog (Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans) comes the bizarre true story of the making of the most derided yet beloved film our time: The Room. Michael Shannon (“Boardwalk Empire”, Take Shelter) gives an uncanny performance as Tommy Wiseau, the enigmatic auteur whose obsession with cinematic greatness would make him the laughing stock of the entertainment industry. From the bafflingly huge budget of $6 million, to the incomprehensible screenplay, to the unnecessary rooftop green screen photography, to the film’s eventual success as a cult classic, this is a tale just as strange, if not more, than The Room itself. Also starring Ryan Gosling (Drive, Lars and the Real Girl) as Greg Sestero, Tommy’s co-producer, co-star, and only friend. Featuring Carey Mulligan as “Lisa” and Emile Hirsch as “Denny”. Based on the memoir “Locked Inside The Room” by Greg Sestero.
Deuce Bigalow: Outer Space Gigolo
After his fiancée leaves him at the altar, a heartbroken Deuce (Rob Schneider) unwittingly volunteers to take part in a cryogenics experiment. Thinking he had an unusually long nap in a tanning bed, Deuce wakes up in the Year 3000 A.B. (After Bieber). He discovers a grim dystopian future. All human males are sterile under the royal decree of the Evil Space Mayor, Merv the Merciless (Norm Macdonald). And all the best sex acts are outlawed. Deuce escapes Merv’s ruthless Castration Corps with the help of the sexy multi-tentacled C’thulia (Anna Faris). As an act of rebellion the two open up an illegal space brothel, where Deuce is the star whore. As the only fertile male, Deuce is humanity’s only hope. Can he avoid castration, defeat Merv the Merciless, and repopulate the human race? In 2005, he did Europe. This summer, he’s heading for Uranus.
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