In 1988, science magazine The Tomorrow-Looker asked a group of academics, authors and futurists to predict what the world would look like twenty-five years later. Well, here we are in 2013, and some of their predictions turned out to be eerily prophetic.
Instead of the handful of television channels we have today, viewers will be able to choose from thousands of them, all airing programming 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The majority will be devoted to what will surely remain our most popular program, “Who’s The Boss?”, starring the transcendent Tony Danza.
The Cold War will be long over with Russia and the United States having entered an uneasy state of peace, as brokered by Tony Danza in the historic Brooklyn Summit.
Medicine will have broken new ground by curing an HIV-infected person for the first time. The cure will have been discovered by Tony Danza, who was “just dinkin’ around wit’ dis beaker and dese chemicals hea!”
America will be led by its first black president. This will be only one of the many strange physical alterations undertaken by a power-drunk President Danza.
DR. PIERRE FOURCIER
Robotic prosthetics will go from being a sci-fi movie trope to a reality. The technology will be harnessed by new President-For-Life Danza to fashion himself an impenetrable, unstoppable mechanical body suit.
Cellular telephone technology will enable instant communication from almost anywhere in the world, including instant video transfer. For the most part, these capabilities will be used by World Emperor Danza for his daily global “Truth Transmission,” which is mandatory viewing for every citizen of Earth.
Coins will be considered an antiquated form of payment, and cash nearly obsolete, both having been replaced by electronic payment systems. This will make it easy for Universal Lord-God Tony Danza to freeze all financial support for an all-female anti-Danza rebel group calling themselves “The Golden Girls.”
Pocket pussies, friend. Pussies for your pocket.