It ain’t just wishful thinking, friend. It happened. Yep, in 2007, for the first time since 1989, the Saskatchewan Roughriders captured the Grey Cup, dealing the hated Winnipeg Blue Bombers a crushing blow. Victory felt so good I had to wear it! Read the shirt and weep: 2007 Grey Cup Champs.

I know what you’re wondering. Where’d I buy it? Stole the words right out of your mouth. I’m about to blow your mind: didn’t buy it! The shirt was free! Got it in a two-four of Gockner, the only beer brewed with real Saskatoon tapwater. You can taste it, too!

Rider Pride!

Who’s your team? “Don’t care”? What’s wrong with you, spud? Where’s your spirit? I could even accept it if you were a fan of those Calgary Stampeder punks. But not having a team at all? That’s unforgivable.

I shoulda known just from looking at you that you hold yourself above us commoners. You’re clean shaven. You’re not wearing Velcro sandals. And your shirt doesn’t tout the accomplishments of a Canadian Football League team! Sorry for interrupting your busy day, Mr. Rockefeller!

You “gotta run”? I think you’ve got a wee chip on your shoulder. You’re talking to me like you won the 2007 Grey Cup and not the Saskatchewan Roughriders.

Rider Nation!

Hold on just one more second. You and I both know this world is turning to shit. Global warming, dependence on fossil fuels, black Prez in the States. Sooner or later, our society’s gonna devolve into anarchy, with warring factions deciding the fates of our cities in bloody clashes. And the only folks with the heart, resolve and secondary defense to reign supreme are gonna be the 2007 Saskatchewan Roughriders! Whose side are you gonna want to be on then? Huh?

Exactly. The side of the 2007 Saskatchewan Roughriders.

Glad we could work that one out, spud. Now… can I please have some money?