It’s the time of year when the leaves start to explode, and summer seems like it was just some mental illness-induced hallucination. But it’s also when business gets busy here at Fun Time Internet, so we threw out an open call to local universities and halfway houses for anyone interested in applying to be our Fun Time Intern. After weeding out candidates who refused to divulge their voting records, the field was narrowed to two. Here are the interviews.

And you thought Red Lobster was all about a family friendly dining environment, bottomless Diet Cokes and something called a “Lobsterita”. Nay – a beast lies behind every biscuit, and sometimes, your white whale will come looking for you, even if it is during the sacred observance of Lobsterfest. Fisherman’s Feast yar eyes!